


A Freedom of Sorts

by amatterofluck (lilithenaltum), lilithenaltum



Category: 30 Seconds to Mars
Genre: F/M, First Time, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-18
Updated: 2012-05-18
Packaged: 2017-11-05 13:59:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/407228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilithenaltum/pseuds/amatterofluck, https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilithenaltum/pseuds/lilithenaltum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He’d kissed her once, just once, back at the shop where he worked. She’d accepted his invitation to have lunch and he’d made her sandwiches, thick buttery bread he baked himself and sliced ham. And he’d leaned over and kissed her, grease on his face, dirt caked hands, ignoring the fact she was just as dirty and smelly and wore ripped torn jeans and steel toes."</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Freedom of Sorts

It had, somehow, started out as a simple movie watching marathon. He’d shown up at her apartment, bag of pretzels and a bottle of sparkling grape juice in hand, a goofy innocent smile on his face. She’d stood there, in her thick layers of pajamas, and raised a brow, still wondering just why in the world this man had followed her to Colorado. And, even as she let him in, why he kept coming over to see her.

They were on completely different planes here. She was a laborer, working 12 hour shifts at the local mill, making pretty good pay for a single woman with a small apartment and few bills. She saved most of her money, spending just enough to pay the utilities, her cell, and internet. She had gas, food, and heat. She was content. It was enough to be away from Louisiana and that hole and the entire 24 years of darkness she’d clawed her way out of. And she couldn’t complain; two good friends lived just around the corner almost. Caitlyn was in Golden, Amber was a little way aways in Denver. She wasn’t alone, she knew. Even if she was ridiculously lonely and she missed her baby brother and she wished her mother would love her again…but that was something she didn’t think about much and she texted or called Kee almost every single day. Daddy even texted her at times, asking her if she was okay, telling her to make sure she locked up at night, to call if she needed anything. And although Mama made the initial call when she moved in…there hadn’t been much talking in between.

It was probably for the best, at that point. She wasn’t going to turn out to be the Southern Belle Housewife like her mother wanted…and the older woman was realizing that. Coming to terms with that realitiy, that your daughter wasn’t “proper” was probably hard. Mel tried to keep the bitterness she’d felt the last few years at bay. No need for that shit now. She was on her own, she lived by her own standards and rules. Even if sometimes she swore she caught herself denying herself simple things only because she knew her mama would disapprove. That was a work in progress. Case in point, allowing a 40 something year old man into her apartment. While she was alone. Scandalous.

The movie ended up being, for the umpteenth time, “Robin Hood: Men in Tights”. She didn’t mind, although she and Amber had watched it together about 10 times in the span of one sleepover weekend. She caught glances of him, nomming on his pretzels, a lopsided smile on his face as he silently mouthed the entire movie. She couldn’t help but smile herself, even if she was a touch nervous at the idea of him being so close. He’d kissed her once, just once, back at the shop where he worked. She’d accepted his invitation to have lunch and he’d made her sandwiches, thick buttery bread he baked himself and sliced ham. And he’d leaned over and kissed her, grease on his face, dirt caked hands, ignoring the fact she was just as dirty and smelly and wore ripped torn jeans and steel toes. “What was that for?” she’d asked, and he shrugged. “Just felt like it. You’ve got hella kissable lips.” It seemed out of place for him to be working at the bike shop, for him to be so dirty, for him to be doing anything but drumming…but the band was finally on break and he wanted a change in scenery. So he said. A simple little retweet on twitter led to him emailing her, forging a sort of interesting friendship which led to him “visiting” her as she settled into her new home.

He had just simply decided to stay. She didn’t mind, so much as she wondered. It wasn’t a big city, there wasn’t a whole ton of nightlife going on to entertain him…or maybe just working with his hands was enough. Maybe, the change in pace, the lowkey surroundings was what he needed.

She still expected anyday for him to be gone, back to L.A., back to where he fit in. Where she didn’t. But she never said anything. She just took the time she had with him and accepted it. 

“Do you wanna watch something else?” Mel asked, realizing she’d ran out of pretzels, wondering just how she and he had downed the entire bottle of grape juice that quickly. And then it dawned on her he’d been here four hours and they’d spent the first two arguing over what to watch, even while they ate their snacks. He was pressed right up against her in the bed, bare footed and comfortable, her thick comforter wrapped around him like a cloak. “Nope. Not really.” He set the bowl on the floor and took her cup, then turned and gave her his trademark goofy smile. “What?” she asked, even as her mouth turned up in a grin. Jesus. He was so contagious. “Can I kiss you again?” She blinked, raised a brow. “Why?” He shrugged, leaned in a little bit closer to her. “Cause I liked it. Felt…nice. You’re good at kissing. Bullshit on the little experience you’ve had.” She pressed her lips together and gave him her best death glare, and then sighed finding that it had no affect. “I have no experience, I swear. I suck at…everything physical.” She almost left the physical off, so used to degrading herself for kicks that it was almost a chore to stop herself. “I say bullshit. Either that or you’re just damn good with that mouth of yours.” She chuclkled, tuggling on his earlobe, her fingertips tracing the flat earrings he wore. “I probably am, seeing as I lack a gag reflex.” She waggled her brows and he laughed then, tugging her flush against him, propping his chin up on her shoulder.

He kissed her neck. She stiffened, breathing slow and shallow. “Shannon…what are you doing?” “Kissing you,” he murmured, and worked his way up her neck, to her ear where he nibbled delicately on her lobe. He moved his head over and she was staring then, directly into his eyes, the golden glittery orbs glowing in her dark bedroom light, cold Colorado in late afternoon, the mountains peeking through her blinds, the sun setting. “Kissing me?” she whispered, even as her fingers smoothed the skin of his jawline, the slight wrinkles in the corners of his eyes. “Yep,” he said softly, and pressed his lips to hers, just enough to touch, a whisper of a kiss that blossomed into want. She melted, heat spiking through her previously chilly body, and leaned in towards him, kissing him back tenderly and slowly. His hands slid, almost shyly, from her neck and down her shoulders to grasp at her waist, and he pulled her with him as he lay back on the bed. He cradled her then, mouth never leaving her own, his kisses deep but slow, soft as the snow that had fell outside that morning. 

Somewhere, in the interim, as he kissed her, his hands wandering up her pajama top and onto her bare skin, she realized, if he wanted to go any further, she wasn’t going to stop him. Instead, drawing his mouth to her chin, then to her neck again, she realized she was enjoying this. Far more than she thought she would. She wasn’t freaking out like she imagined she always would were she ever touched. She was simply…feeling. “Shannon…” she breathed out, as her own hands stroked the warm skin of his back, her fingers digging underneath his sweater. “I’m hot.” He drew back a little, blinking, his lips a little swollen. “Hell yeah you are,” he said, and she snorted, giggled. “No, like, physically.” “I know.” Rolling her eyes, she sat up and made him sit with her. “If you don’t stop that,” she said, even as she smiled. “I mean, I’m hot. Overheated. It’s warm in here and I’m in the thickest pajamas I could find.” Shannon sat there staring, breathing a little rushed, face flush. “Help me get out of them?” Mel pressed, tilting her head, and he gave a soft “oh” as he registered what she wanted.

Naked. Skin on his. Touch. It was what she craved in that moment and as he helped her pull her top off, then her fluffy bottoms, leaving her in only a thin nearly see through tank top and her underwear, she wanted him even more. He tugged his sweater off and wife beater, getting up and unbuttoning his jeans. “Boxers or none?” he asked, and she swallowed as she followed the muscles that moved underneath his skin. Jesus, he was Apollos in man form and she had to force her eyes upward to meet his. He was smirking again. “Boxers are fine,” she finally said and he shucked his jeans down, tossing them to the floor. He pulled the comforter around them as he lay back with her on the bed once more and wrapped her into his arms, sliding his leg between her thigh. She gulped. “Is that better, sweet?” he asked, and she nodded, and sighed as he kissed her again. 

His hand wandered along her body and she shivered as his fingers found the delicate skin of her lower tummy. He nibbled on her lip, and she ran her fingers through his hair, humming a little when he found a particularly sensitive spot. He moved over from her mouth to her neck again, and she instinctively shifted her hips, meeting his leg with her pelvis. She gave a soft moan and stilled then, realizing what had happened. “It’s okay,” he said gently, encouraging her to move again. “If it feels good do it.” She swallowed, licked her lips, looked at him with wide eyes. “Okay…just…do that again, huh? Bite on my neck like that again? I like that.” He did as she asked and her hips jerked again, on their own accord. A burst of hot wet aching need rushed between her legs and she gasped, eyes slipping closed in pleasure. Shannon shifted over then, urging her legs to spread until he was between her thighs, and ground his own hips against hers. “I’m not going to push you to go any farther than this,” he said, but she knew, right then and there she wasn’t letting him stop. “I want you to,” she admitted, pushing the usual guilt and loathing back as far as she could. Mama would not approve. Not at all. She really was tired of giving a fuck though. She wanted this, craved it even.

“If you’re sure…” he said, giving her another chance to back out without it being too awkward. She nodded, licked her lips. “I’m sure,” she whispered, and pulling him down for another kiss, she lifted her thighs and wrapped them around him, moaning as her sensitive skin brushed against his. “Alright,” he responded, his voice thick with want and lust and something else she couldn’t name but needed to drink in. “Alright.” He shifted his hips against her and kissed her like he meant it, tangling his fingers into her hair, his other hand stroking the skin of her bare legs hungrily. “I’m gonna make this wonderful for you,” he said, between nibbles to her neck and throat. “I know I’m your first…I’m honored, I…I’m gonna make sure you never regret it.” Mel swallowed back the urge to suddenly cry or the way her heart pounded. She just kissed his chin and closed her eyes, allowing his hands to stroke and smooth her flushed skin.

 

Tugging the thin tank to the side, Shannon’s mouth found a nipple and he sucked, just barely, making her gasp, her back arching a little. He smiled against her skin and took his sweet time, tracing the dark flesh with the tip of his tongue. He begin to move his mouth further south, pulling the tank up and she shucked it off, bare breasted to him now. He disappeared beneath the comforter, his hands sliding over her sides and ribs, his mouth still blazing a trail down her belly, to the waist of her panties. He started to pull them down and she lifted her hips to let him, tossing her head back as his fingers glided down her tummy to her core. “Oh…” she gasped out, blinking a little at the strange newness of being touched there. “Like that?” he murmured, muffled a bit from being underneath covers, and he stroked her slowly, exploring her sex with expert fingers, changing up his movements to see what she responded to. “Yeah…yeah, like that,” she moaned, wiggling her hips a bit downward, urging him to go faster. “Mmmm nope,” he said, and she could feel the grin as he kissed her inner thigh. “Not like that. Lemme…try something else.” He grasped her thighs and tugged her down a little bit more, and she shivered, feeling the warm breath on her sensitive skin. He stroked her still, opening her up a little more, then opened his mouth and tasted her. She gasped, body tensing then relaxing, her thighs automatically squeezing together. He moaned against her, shucking the comforter off so she could see him, and licked his lips. 

“Can I?” Shannon asked, and Mel panted, hands shaking as she stared down at his eager face, eyes dilated with arousal. He was so turned on, just from the taste of her. Good lord. “…yeah,” she responded, feeling the rush of arousal as he grinned in delight, then lowered his head again and began to pleasure her with gusto. He held her hips down, using his forearms to keep her thighs spread and she closed her eyes, head buried in the pillow, fingers digging desperately into the sheets. The pleasure wasn’t anything she’d ever felt, hot and wet and delicate but enough to light the fire, building up on something wild. He ate her like a ripe peach, like a starving man, not only using his tongue but also his lips and, just barely, his teeth. She grasped at his hair, tugging a little bit harder than she’d expected and moved her body against him instinctively, no longer caring that she was losing her inhibitions. She moaned loudly, mouth open and eyes shut tight, her body stretched from the headboard down to his hungry mouth, and she shuddered, cried out a little as he stretched her open with two thick fingers, pumping them in time with his tongue’s dance on her clit. He sucked her into his mouth and hummed and she was a mess, grinding against him now with no restraint, desperate for the orgasm building up inside her. She looked down to find him staring at her, his eyes focused on her movements, the way she responded. “Shan…Shannon,” she moaned out, “please, I….fuck yes, right there just…oh shit!” He’d found her gspot then, kneading it as he sucked and stroked, his eyes locked on her own. Tossing her head back again, as the pleasure began to spill over, she trembled and cried, breathless, as he brought her to her climax, drinking in every drop of her. He pulled away with a slurp and a pop, licking his fingers and lips, ravenous.

“Do you have any idea how fucking good you taste?” he asked, growling practically as she panted for air, her body buzzing, still ready, still needing him. She ached, throbbed for more, and she watched in almost dizzy anticipation as he pulled off his precum soaked boxers, his erection popping out. Her eyes widened and she suddenly felt an overwhelming rush of nervousness sweep over her. “Oh…” she breathed, staring in scared awe, wondering how in the world that was going to fit. “It’s not going to fit, Jesus Christ,” she muttered and he chuckled. “Yeah it will…it’ll fit like a glove, baby. Just relax. Don’t tense up, it won’t hurt as much if you relax.” Mel huffed, even as her body was screaming for him to take her, ravage her. “That’s easy for you to say. All you gotta do is…shit…mmmm.” Shannon had her thighs parted as far as he could, settled in between them, and then leaned forward, hushing her with a passionate but soothing kiss. “Just relax,” he whispred. “I won’t hurt you. I promise. I’ll go as slow as you want me to.” He slid his hand between then and slipped his fingers back inside and she moaned in response. “See? You’re so ready for me…so wet. You can take me, promise.” Pushing himself up on his hands he towered his body over hers and angled his hips in line with her pelvis. “Guide me,” he said and she took one trembling hand from the sheets to wrap around his thick manhood. “Damn…” she breathed out, stroking the extra soft skin there in an awe of sorts, watching as he swallowed, eyes slipping closed. She lifted her thighs up, around his waist just a little and pushed the head of his cock right at the entrance. “Shannon…” she breathed out, nervous and shaking but so hungry for this she ached.

This was it. 

He leaned forward then, and, practicing a level of control that impressed her, began to slide forward, ever so slowly, meeting her tightness with resistance and pushing through it with finesse. Mel kept her hand on him, feeling him slide through her fingers as he pushed inside, feeling every bit of her body hum as she accepted him. She kept her body relaxed, but even still, he stretched her more than she’d ever been and it was a painful invasion, her body expanding to adjust to his girth. No sound came out of her open mouth, but she leaned her head against his shoulder, one arm wrapped around it, fingers digging deeply into his muscled arm. He finally filled her and she curled up around him, taking in breaths and shaking, her inner muscles tightening around him. He was shaking as well, still, his chest heaving. “Jesus fuck,” gasped out, hot breath against her neck. “Jesus fuck you’re tight…so fucking…shit…” and he lowered his head, forehead resting against her collarbone. She said not a word, too scared to move, too scared to do anything but let the pain seep away, slowly, and she lay still for a minute or two as she adjusted to being penetrated for the first time. 

Wiggling her hips a bit she found that it wasn’t hurting anymore…so much as it was simply…strange. A full thick feeling…but strange. He groaned above her, his fingers stroking the skin of her ribs. “Are you okay?” she asked, voice thick and full of need. He chuckled, lifted himself up and met her gaze. “Fine…just…shit, baby. You feel so damn good right now and I’m a little worried I’m not gonna last too long.” She bit her lip even as she grinned, and wrapping her legs tighter around him, she pulled him down for a hot kiss. “Just move,” whispered and he gave in, pushing backward and then forward, slowly, in and out as she moaned in surprise.

It felt good. Really good. He filled her completely, thick and hard and he felt so good, so…complete inside her she couldn’t help but cry out as he moved. “Am I hurting you baby?” he asked, a little worried but she shook here head, murmurred a no. “No…no not at all…just…mmmm. It feels…wow…” And she began to move with him, meeting his slow, deliberate thrusts with her own, shifting her hips up and around so that he hit her clit with every pump. He took his time, setting the pace and rhythm, testing different kinds to see just how she wanted it. She seemed lost almost, swimming in the simple pleasure of being joined with him, the act of finally making love consuming her. “How do you feel?” he asked, in a low sexy whisper and she let her eyes flutter open, her head tossed back into the pillow and her back arched a little, enough so that he was stroking just the right areas as he moved. “I…” she started, licked her lips, moaned, moved her body against his, her hands palming and stroking her breasts. “It…feels so good. So so so good.” She gave a raspy, shuddering laugh and began to move her hips faster, urging him on. “Deeper, Shan…please, deeper and a little…oh fuck yes, right there!” He lifted her thighs and placed his hands on either side of her head, holding himself up as he rocked and rolled against her…inside her. She opened her eyes again and met his stare, keeping it as she slid her hands along his biceps, tracing the mosaic tattoo on his upper arm with hot shaky fingertips. 

“Go on,” he urged, breathless and hungry. “Tell me more….what does it feel like?” Mel moaned then, thighs opening wider and nails digging into thick muscle. “Like…falling. Like drowning and…fuck…like I’m winding something up and…it’s going to devour me and…I want it to…” The ache between her thighs increased only, even if he was thrusting and pumping and pleasuring her. She needed more, needed it harder and more desperate and faster. “Shannon, baby…” She didn’t have to say more. He wrapped his arms around her body and tangling his fingers into her hair, whispered, “Hold on.” She grasped his shoulders and groaned a yes as he began to speed up, harder, faster, just what she was needing. The pleasure skyrocketed and she couldn’t think or breathe, nothing intelligible coming from her mouth but cries of yes and please and oh god. Lost in mindless ecstasy she held on, letting him take her with no restraint, taking the near painful thrusts eagerly. She needed this. Needed it like air or water or food and she moved with him, snapping her own hips in time with his, fingernails digging deeply into his flesh. He hissed, groaned in pain, then choked out a moan. “Do it again…please,” he begged, and she did, discovering his kink, a little pain, a little bit of abuse. 

Opening her eyes she stared up at him as he rocked, the little moans that slipped from his open mouth firing her up more, his eyes closed shut and brow furrowed as he pressed deeper, needing her just as badly as she needed him. “Fuck, fuck, fuck yess, fuck,” he chanted, over and over, hands gripping her hips and he was insaitiable, rushing towards the precipice, overcome with need. “Come on baby,” he gasped, pressing his sweaty forehead to hers, opening his own eyes to bore into hers, to read her mind. “Move with me. I wanna make you cum. So hard, come on.” And she moved, unabashed and unashamed at how much she wanted this. She couldn’t stop crying out, couldn’t stop the moans and screams of pleasure that poured from her mouth from coming out. She arched her back as he fucked her against the hot sweaty sheets and accepted all of him, every inch, ever stroke and pound and pump. “Shan…onnn…Shan, baby…I… I wanna…oh god, yes I wanna….fuccckkk…” It was right there, right there at the edge and all he had to do was… He took a nipple into his panting mouth and sucked, hard, making her scream and she responded in record time as he hit her spot, sending her tumbling over the edge, her orgasm swallowing her whole. She was lost then, only conscious of her own beating heart, of his, of the way he gripped her and called her name as he came…a feral growl ripped from his throat that sent her into aftershocks. 

The come down was a heap of rushed breaths, sweat and heat and then…quiet, nothing but her heartbeat as he pulled out and then rested, body shaking with the intensity of his own orgasm, on her heaving chest. They laid, lethargic and buzzing, for long minutes, the sweat cooling in the chilly bedroom and she shivered, even as his hot skin rested on top of hers. She ran her fingers through his damp hair and stared at the ceiling, crying quietly although she wasn’t really sure why. Perhaps she was simply overcome. He lifted his head and wiped away her tears, kissing her cheeks and nose and then her mouth, ever so softly. “Are you alright?” he asked, his voice low and soothing, gentle. Loving, even. “I don’t…know yet,” she confessed. Although the experience had been incredible beyond words, she had parted with something she’d had for her entire life, something she’d held in high regard..and at the same time, high contempt. Even still…”It’s not you, don’t worry,” she said in rush. “It’s just…I’m not a virgin anymore. I don’t really know how I feel about that.” Shannon hummed a bit and slid upwards, until he was face to face with her. He cradled her lovingly, stroked her still damp skin. “You haven’t changed as a person,” he said. “You’ve just…finally experienced something you’ve been craving for a long time…and you managed to have that experience without any hangups or guilt…you’re okay though, other than a bit confused?” She nodded, smiled a little. She was. There wasn’t any regret, no painful twinge of guilt prodding at her. Just…a little hazy, a little blissful. “I’m wonderful,” she responded. She leaned up and kissed him then, on the nose, and snuggled in closer as he pulled the sheets and comforter snugly around them. “I think,” he said, grinning against her forehead, “that I could spend the rest of my days like this.” He laughed. “Or at least the night.” She let out a shallow breath, the pacing of her heart pounding at his words. She smiled, closed her eyes.

“I’m not going anywhere, not right now. Not for a while.”


End file.
